Steps Making the Way
For those who don't know me very well, I am a Christian. I have been going to Church since I was six years old and over the years I faced a lot of trials and tests in my faith. I have always believed in God, even when times where tough or I felt as if I was completely alone. I also suffer from anxiety, especially now more than ever, and because of this I struggle to sleep at night. To help with this, I listen to Judah Smith's preaches, as they are encouraging and a bit of good news at a time where there seems to be only bad news. After watching one of his preaches the other day, I was struck by a statement he made, it was, "We are so focused on the way to get somewhere or get something that we forget the steps. How we get somewhere is through steps. One step at a time rather than thinking the way is the most important part. You can't figure out the whole way, you can't do the whole way, you can't get all the way there today, but you can take a step." When I heard this I was so relieved because I am always so focused on the end goal, the way to get there, the end result, when actually its the little steps that help me make it to my goal.
If you have been anything like me, I have really struggled with motivation and I mean REALLY struggled. I have been wanting to write songs and release demos but each month passes and I still have nothing. This is because I'm focusing on releasing rather than taking the next step to record my demo. I am always so focused on the end result that I don't feel encouraged to take the step to even practice the song I've written or set up my microphone. I've been asking God, "Why did this pandemic happen? Why is it going on for so long? When will life be normal again? Will I gig again? Will I get married finally?" Each time that I see hope, another wave comes, another bad news headline, cases rise dramatically and I'm back at square one. If you've been feeling this way too, you aren't alone and although it all seems hopeless to even hope, I do have faith that 2021 will be an incredible year. Steps make the way to your goal, its the little things, although we may not be able to do what we want to right now, why not invest your time into what you can do, take the step towards something else.
This is my fiancé Matthew, he is my cheerleader for life and one hell of an encourager. When lockdown began in March 2020, I was absolutely rock bottom and had no motivation to do anything. It got so bad that I'd cry everyday, I'd stay in bed all day and I wouldn't even eat. Matt being the amazing person he is, just sat with me, listened to me and finally one day said 'What about the next step?' I looked at him and said 'I cant gig, I can't perform, what am I suppose to do?!' He smiled and said 'Live streams? You can finally write those songs you have wanted the time to do and you can start to produce?' At first I was so mopey that I didn't do any of the things he suggested. Then as time went on, I picked myself up and I decided to learn to produce and sure enough last month I released a vocal track that I mixed and edited and people loved it. I was so proud of myself that I cried. I went from feeling as if there was nothing I could do, to taking the next step to put the situation in my control. I can't control what happens next but I can control my response and my response is to use the time to create. I am so grateful for the people in my life who remind me who I am and why I am here. I am here to create, to love and to sing. God has made this path for me, everytime I feel like quitting, he sends someone my way with encouragement.
This is me busking in Salisbury. During this time I was just happy to be gigging again and bringing some joy to this wonderful city. Whilst I was here, I had a moment where I asked God 'is this what you want me to do? Is music what I should be doing?' At that moment, a woman walks up to me and says, 'your voice is amazing and this is really random but are you a Christian?' I stopped in amazement and awkwardly said 'Yes....' She then smiled and said 'I could tell as soon as I saw you, you have that air about you, keep on singing and thank you for blessing me.' I was utterly shocked. Then 10 minutes later another woman said the SAME THING. It was the confirmation I needed. Some would say its just a coincidence but I honestly don't really believe in coincidence. I asked God a question and he answered. You may not believe but this was very encouraging to me and it made me feel that I was okay, even during all of the madness that was going on in the world.
So guys, that is my little food for thought today. Take the steps you need to and don't get caught up on the end goal or the way to get there. I also hope that these stories have been encouraging to you. I don't usually talk about my faith as I know people have their opinions towards Christians and they aren't usually good but I hope that this post does encourage you, even if you don't believe in God. My faith has helped me a lot during the pandemic and I know it will continue to help me all my life, God is watching over me and even when I've given up, he has pointed me to where I need to be. I am currently taking the steps to get my demos done, I am taking the steps to work on my mental health and I am taking the steps to improve my relationships with the right people. I hope that you have steps you are putting in place today and I hope 2021 brings you joy and hope.